Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for COMMUNICATION Differences by Connie Podesta
Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for COMMUNICATION Differences by Connie Podesta
Sometimes it seems that folks just don't get it. No matter what you say or how you say it, they simply don't have a clue - and don't seem too worried about getting one either! It's not their nature to understand; that's just how they "are." Maybe so, but more often than not, the problem is a result of a communication breakdown.
In this digitally inter-connected world, you'd think we could "fix" such basic differences. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as plugging another device into the system. Maybe they're the problem. Maybe you are. We all know difficult people - and, in fact, we can all be the difficult person.
A little background on communication styles can help us understand the issues and learn how to alter our approach to eventually make life a little easier for both parties.
The Basics
Every time we speak, we choose and use one of four basic communication styles: assertive, aggressive, passive and passive-aggressive.
Assertive Communication
The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It's how we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence to communicate without games and manipulation.
When we are being assertive, we work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions. We communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a win/win situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly, assertive is the style most people use least.
Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make people do what we want by inducing guilt (hurt) or by using intimidation and control tactics (anger). Covert or overt, we simply want our needs met - and right now! Although there are a few arenas where aggressive behavior is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive sports rely heavily on team members and rational coaching strategies.
Passive Communication
Passive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode we don't talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. We just don't want to rock the boat. Passives have learned that it is safer not to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
A combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even through manipulation (aggressive). If you've ever thought about making that certain someone who needs to be "taught a thing or two" suffer (even just a teeny bit), you've stepped pretty close to (if not on into) the devious and sneaky world of the passive-aggressive.
So now what?
Clearly, for many reasons, the only healthy communication style is assertive communication. Surely you can identify many people in your own life that favor each of the four styles. Most of us use a combination of these four styles, depending on the person or situation. The styles we choose generally depend on what our past experiences have taught us will work best to get our needs met in each specific situation. If you take a really good look at yourself, you've probably used each throughout your lifetime.
Understanding the four basic types of communication will help you learn how to react most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. It will also help you recognize when you are using manipulative behavior to get your own needs met. Remember, you always have a choice as to which communication style you use. If you're serious about taking control of your life, practice being more assertive. It will help you diffuse anger, reduce guilt and build relationships - both personally and professionally.
Take Action!
Begin to pay attention to which communication styles you use throughout the day. How often do you use a communication style other than assertive?
Watch and identify the communication styles some of the difficult people in your life use. Can you begin to notice how others use manipulative techniques to get their way.
Powerful lessons in your house number
Powerful lessons in your house number
There are no accidents. You subconsciously choose your specific home for a reason. Apart from the energy patterns in the shape of your home, you can also look at the numerology of your house number you discover additional energies that are supporting you, and energy that's there to provide the lessons you need. The more aware you are of the energies impacting you, the more you can intentionally use them to empower you on your journey through life.
Each vibration gives you what we need. Here you can discover the energy you were unconsciously attracted to when you chose your home, present and past. Used in conjunction with Feng Shui you have tools to use in choosing your next home.
How to calculate the numerology of your home:
Add each number and if the total is more than 9, add those numbers to get a number between 1-9. For example:
658 Knoll Street is a 1 vibration
6+5+8=19
1+9=10
1+0=1
1006 Wellington Road is a 7 vibration
1+0+0+6=7
If you have an apartment number and a street number, the apartment number will have the strongest impact, but both will influence you. For example:
#59-2520 Johnson Road. Your primary influence is a 5 vibration, and secondary is a 9 vibration
5+9=14
1+4=5
2+5+2+0=9
Below you'll discover the energy each number represents. Have fun with this. The flow of energy in your home and the energy associated with your house number are important aspects of the big picture of your life.
What your number means
These are the energies associated with each number and the challenges you could experience living in this energy. There is always a balance of yin and yang and you can use both to support you.
One Energy: independence and new beginnings, self-development, individuality, creativity
Possible Challenges: completing things, going it alone, you may feel isolated
Suggestions: intentional self-growth, ask for and receive support
Two Energy: marriage/partnerships, relationship lessons, giving to others, connection with others in the home, peace and diplomacy, empathy
Possible Challenges: oversensitivity, can appear to exclude others
Suggestions: listen to your inner voice, be involved in the outside world
Three Energy: miracles, openness, optimism, expansion, self-expression, big vision for your life, rich social life
Possible Challenges: expand too quickly, scattered energies, 'enjoy now pay later' tendency
Suggestions: time in nature to stay grounded, focus on self-care and balance, stay connected with others
Four Energy: stability, healing, wholeness, being grounded, fulfillment and security in work, service to others, productivity
Possible Challenges: healing and work can make it seem like there is no play
Suggestions: take time to have fun, focus on balance
Five Energy: change, freedom, adventure, excitement, manifesting desires, communication, travel, romance
Possible challenges: things get magnified – the good and the bad, life can seem like a whirlwind, you might feel hemmed in
Suggestions: take time to make important decisions, be intentional about your goals, make use of this powerful energy to manifest what you want
Six Energy: self-harmony, balance, social responsibility, family, creativity
Possible challenges: giving too much, becoming reclusive
Suggestions: seek balance between giving to others and self-care, get out into the world
Seven Energy: solitude, inner wisdom, contemplation, sanctuary, dreams, visions
Possible Challenges: difficult space to share with others, spiritual rather than material focus, "no one understands me"
Suggestions: use your creativity to find like minded people – they are out there
Eight Energy: wholeness, abundance in all areas, empowerment, leadership, public recognition, inner peace
Possible Challenges: mo.ney issues, being self-centered
Suggestions: express gratitude, use this energy to learn abundance lessons, consider the welfare of others
Nine Energy: completions, humanitarianism, wisdom, generosity, compassion, good fortune
Possible Challenges: in seeing the big picture you might miss seeing an aspect of yourself that needs energy
Suggestions: live your truth and be an example to others, use this energy to experience life mastery
What is the energy of your home?
Where is your challenge?
How can you use this energy to support yourself? Knowing the meaning of your house number, how can you use the gift of this energy to set a powerful intention for yourself?
©2007 Vicky White, All Rights Reserved.
Vicky White is the go-to-gal when it comes to Feng Shui and the Law of Attraction. With her expertise and gentle nature, she helps people feel empowered and clear about what they're doing in their lives - even during difficult transition periods. Get her free report, "The 5 Biggest Attraction Mistakes: and How You Can Avoid them" and see what manifests in your life! http://www.lifedesignstrategies.com/
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