Do you drink to enjoy yourself?

I had a talk with a coaching candidate who was looking to understand why they felt the need to drink socially but not regularly, unless of course they were out in social frequently.

At that moment I was cautious with my answer, I mean if we fully knew the underlying cause about any addiction it would likely cease to be addictive by definition right?

Regardless, the first thought that came to mind is that drugs and alcohol are a perceived enhancement for a deficit inside ourselves that we both consciously and subconsciously are experiencing in a situation.

Please allow me to explain. My belief comes from the observation and personal experience of drinking to break free from the "normal" or habitual way of being. The way we behave repeatedly become what is referred to as our conditioning. Whatever you want to call it, we often seek drugs and alcohol as the medium that brings out an altered and ultimately more desired state.

The hidden problem with this strategy is that the demonstrated solution (drinking or drugs) is just an illusion. The illusion is that you, or anyone else for that matter, requires something external to complete us or augment our experience. When it comes to drinking, the false belief is that we require alcohol to loosen us up, allow us to have fun, and make the experience much more enjoyable.

The downside of these fantasies is that for a small time we actually may see results, that is, we actually might think we are more socially functional by having the drink. Often, if only for a short time we are right, and the enhancement gets us through the stress or awkwardness of the situation.

Humans see things when they believe it, hence the phrase "I'll believe it when I see it" or "Seeing is believing". This becomes a problematic factor of human nature because now we "see" our actions (drinking) produce result and then we start to "believe" it is the answer. This only ensures that it will become that much more difficult to stop the no longer desired behaviour.

In our drinking example in order to get past the next social situation that they feel inadequate, you either use the alcohol as the crutch again or you will need to either come up with a brand new plan. The brand new plan is a feasible option only if given enough time and resources to commit to action, if either are missing then the effort is futile and you are highly likely to choose the path of least resistance which is the way you did it last.

So how do you combat this downward spiral of illusion? You must become conscious of the "positive intent" behind your actions. Every action we do is motivated by either a conscious or subconscious desire. When we detach ourselves from judgement about our actions, we make room to become aware of the positive intent behind our behaviour. Only when we have become clear about what this is can we empower change.

In our example of drinking the positive intent could have been "feeling confident and able to speak in public". With that desire identified the person could finally begin to seek alternative solutions to bringing them that feeling. For example they could join Toastmasters or a local speaking club, or join a networking group to expose themselves to others in a different setting.

There are many ways to beat your behaviour and with the right support you can do it! How are you currently identifying and empowering your desired change in your behaviour now? I'm definitely curious, drop me a line and let me know what works for you or if I can help.

Here to serve and humbled by your greatness!

Looking for a bonus holiday gift?

Looking for action to make the most of this new year? Take this challenge!

Take 3 minutes out of your hectic schedule today to just breathe, observe yourself, your thoughts, just be. If you have never done this or do this infrequently it will probably feel a little uncomfortable for a while, you may not even see the point and stop after a brief moment, either or is still great. If silence is still too foreign for you, take those 3 minutes and repeatedly tell yourself that you are loving, loveable, worthy and deserving.

I realize fully that sometimes life "seems" to have a nasty way of getting in the way of our goals and higher aspirations. I've been to the point of dire frustration when just as things seemed like they were breaking through "something" else would go wrong. I've been caught up watching the successes of others who get more far easier and wondered "why not me?". I would set goals and then not have the desire or willpower to follow throught and then feel like the only idiot on the block who can't get their poop in a group. I thankfully learned that it is postively pointless and painful to associate my success with my self worth.

For many years, so many years I used to almost feel embarrassed by not being able to achieve what I wanted. I've been blessed to be able to see through the illusion and now the things I want to experience come easily and effortlessly. I've been on both side of the fence my friend, and this is why I am offering the people who are looking to break-free or break-through in 2008 an special holiday gift. Take a moment to e-mail me at successssensei@hotmail.com with the subject line "Re: Send Me My New Years Gift" and I will send over 7 simple yet extremely powerful tools for immediately increasing willpower, self-confidence and awareness. Send your e-mail over right away, as I will be packaging these gems into some material and possibly charging for it, so get yours while the gettings good!

Click here to take advantage and empower your future now!

Want Some Advice From a Billionaire??

Happy New Year People!

It's funny that no matter where you are, who you were, who you want to be, or who you are now today, today for us all my friends, is a new day! No matter how tall or small, how rich or how poor you are this moment is yours and I'm glad your spending it with me.

Oh yes I almost forgot to mention the other small change that came along with today... Officially it has now become no longer fashionable to date things with the year "2007". Some remain unaware of this change, you can spot some of these elusive rebels by looking for tell-tale signs of forehead slapping actions and the classic "oops"-scribble-initial-blush when writing out cheques. Ok ok, let's not pick on anyone who must be the originators of the phrase "not with the times", since time is all relative and the anyone might be one of your relatives :p

And speaking of time, I thought the time was right to share some timeless advice that I learned recently from talking to a Billionaire. He boiled his success and his resiliency to be able to build and rebuild his fortune to just 3 points, they are in order they were given to me:

1. The only opinion that matters of you is your own.
2. Everything is a choice, choose wisely.
3. Find forgiveness, start with yourself.

I believe all three are essential elements requires to balance yourself in harmonic order with the natural vibrations of good health and good fortune. Since today is a new day regardless of whether you celebrated it last night or not, and it also remains true that you have been blessed with another day to acknowledge your gifts and the things you take for granted.

Go for it. Don't hesitate or wait to be great, just be it. I believe in you!