Monday Motivating Mindset

THE HYPE

This weeks Motivating Mindset will help you to not take people, situations and circumstances so personally.


THE CHALLENGE

Your Mindset challenge this week is getting in the habit of asking yourself:
"How does my personality factor into this situation?"


THE PROMISE

Ask yourself this question and you will get up close and personal with the less desirable effects of your personality.


THE TIPS

If you're human and alive (which you automatically qualify for if you are reading this right now) then it is very likely that you've taken something too personal.

Have you ever been guilty of getting too emotional or over-excited in situations?

Have you allowed yourself to become upset or disappointed when things didn't work out?

Have you ever let other peoples opinions about you affect you for longer than you would like?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions then you are guilty of taking something way too personally.

Here is one strategy for effectively working through your thought process when things aren't feeling all that fun.

The next time you're feeling negative or upset about something, ask yourself "how does my personality factor into this?"

With practice this question will help you think about putting yourself in other peoples shoes which is an invaluable leadership and communication tool.

Teaching yourself to learn to appreciate other peoples perspectives will improve every relationship you have and attract more quality people into your life.

Type "6 men elephant" into a search engine like Google and read the parable that you find.

It is a great story that clearly demonstrates how everyone perceives things differently and yet there are still elements of truth in each of the various views.

The elements of truth that we live our life by is more commonly referred to as your personality.

If you are a person then you have a personality.

Personality is the pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique.

Your personality is the collection of systems that governs your attitudes, assumptions and actions.

Simply stated, your personality is a filter in which you see the world.

Both consciously and unconsciously your personality guides and navigates you through life.

No matter who you are or what your personality is there is always room for growth.

Personalities themselves are not right and they are not wrong.

They can however either be helpful, as in moving you towards the direction of your goals and dreams, or they can be unsupportive and not helpful.

Learning more about your thoughts, traits and tendencies will help you quickly strengthen personality areas that work and avoid areas altogether that don't.

While most of psychology deals with general principles of thought and behavior that all people have in common, personality psychology examines what makes people different from each other.

Many theories have been proposed over the years to explain how personality develops and is expressed. Some of the major approaches include:

Psycho-dynamic theories, Behaviorist theories, Biological theories, Trait theories and Type theories.

Every theory has its own personality tests and each one can potentially provide important insights into your operating system.

If you wish to have your own personality assessed, there are several ways to do so.

Although there are companies that will charge money to have a valid test performed and scored, most Universities are always in need of volunteers for psychology research.

Personality psychology is obviously a strong area to start with, however keep in mind areas like social psychology, clinical psychology, and cognitive psychology also frequently employ personality tests.

Some researchers will offer to divulge personality test results in exchange for volunteering. Even if this is not offered, it can never hurt to ask for your results.

Another way for you to get started in search of your personality is by searching online for a personality test.

A few of the more recognized personality tests are the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Keirsey Temperament Sorter, DISC Assessment, The Enneagram, and the Revised NEO Personality Inventory.

Your challenge is to take one of the above tests as soon as possible and find out more about yourself and how you tend to react/respond in situations.

Play with these tests and your personality, explore and experiment with as many tests as you can.

When life seems to get the best of your day ask yourself "how does my personality factor into this?" to uncover clues as to where and how you can grow next.


THE SECRET

In order for you avoid taken something personally means that you must be able remove yourself from the elements of the situation that affect your person.

Therefore in order to detach yourself from your personality you must first come to one important realization... You are not your personality!

Is it that surprising to hear that you are not your personality? It shouldn't be.

Think back to the difference in your personality at least every decade of your life.

Experts suggest that human beings change personality as often as every 4 to 5 years.

Your personality is a sum of the preferences that you have developed as a result of the social, cultural, economic and environmental influences in your life.

Over time this sum changes as some influences seem to lose their power and new other factors start to impact your life.

Think back if you can remember to what you liked and disliked when you were 5 years old.

Now consider the same for when you were 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, etc.?

Were your likes and dislikes the same when you were 10 years old as they are now? Probably not.

Maybe your favorite color is still the same but things like your favorite hairstyle and fashion sense have hopefully changed over the years.

In fact, most of the opinions that you used to define yourself decades ago are long left behind or have at least evolved as you've gotten older haven't they?

Are you still not convinced that you are not your personality?

Close your eyes for a moment (wait... after you read this paragraph!).

Now that your eyes are open direct your attention to the last thought you had.

When you took notice of that thought that just came into your head. Who noticed it?

Does the being that noticed your thought show up on a x-ray or brain scan?

Or was it a being that cannot be defined by machines or words but is with you and inside you all the time?

Can this being be defined by the field of work its employed or by the type of clothes it wears?

Here's a hint... you are not what you do and you are not what you have. You are also not your thoughts.

All of those things are all temporary, fleeting, impermanent.

If your preferences and opinions about something can cease, change and evolve over time without effecting you then your personality cannot be everything you are.

Instead what you are is a part of this magical life in constant change. You are the change.

You are a work of beauty in-progress, a magnificent masterpiece in the making, a spark of God's light disguised as a separate entity.

You may have had the privilege of experiencing your true being with more purity and clarity if you have done any psychological and/or spiritual work on yourself.

Keep in mind that while personality is the place where inner growth and learning must begin, after you become an observer of your personality then it's time to move on.

It is even wonderful to love your personality but in the end your personality is just a tool, a means to an end.

As the engineer of your life it is up to you to determine the best way to use the tools that you've been given.

Ask yourself ""how does my personality factor into this?" to practice becoming more like the person you truly want to be.