Monday Motivating Mindset

THE HYPE

This weeks Motivating Mindset will help you stop worrying and start living.

THE CHALLENGE

Your Mindset challenge this week is getting in the habit of asking yourself:
"What should I stop doing?"


THE PROMISE

Ask yourself this question at least once a day and you will reduce stress and get more done.


THE TIPS

At the end of your evening tonight, or first thing tomorrow morning, ask yourself the question:

"What should I stop doing?"

If you want to get more done it may seem a bit counterproductive to ask yourself this question, but stopping is actually an important part of the process of change.

Everything in our lives is like a door that can open new possibilities for us.

In order to fully move into any new part of life, or create a new reality for our self we must first close the door behind us that holds our old identity.

This is because in order to start one thing one must first stop doing something else, even if that something else was nothing.

For example, in order to be reading these words right now you are giving up the opportunity to do nothing.

You are also simultaneously giving up an opportunity to do something else like read a cartwheel if you were so inclined.

Some people refer to this as an 'opportunity cost', or what you have to give up when you commit to do something else.

Everything has an opportunity cost, the relationships we are in cost us other potential mates, our jobs cost us other opportunities to work somewhere else.

Subconsciously and consciously we are constantly trying to choose the best opportunities to take advantage of.

We decide what is most important in our lives by rewarding it with our time and attention.

Here is where the majority of us make a major error in judgment.

We mistakenly give up the opportunity to do what we "want/desire to do" in place of what we feel we "have to do".

Are you guilty of settling for less than you deserve in an aspect of your life? Chances are you have.

Answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following questions to see if you are spending your time wisely.

- Do you currently believe that "you have to do something", but realize that the something is draining your energy?

- Do you feel trapped by doing things the old way, pressured to perform a certain way, or have obligations that stress you out?

- Are you in a role you are no longer committed to, stuck in an unrewarding relationship, or working a jobs that is not fulfilling?

- Do you seem to find yourself "going through the motions" day in and day out?

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions then it might be time that you take something off your plate.

A great way to start the process of becoming more aware is in the consideration of the question:

"What should I stop doing?"


THE SECRET

Asking yourself "What should I stop doing?" is a great way to empower and enrich your current efforts.

Human nature is that we all want to get more done with as little time, money and energy as possible.

In life this is called 'Return on Energy' and in business it's called 'Return on Capital Expended'.

Whatever you call it at the end of the day the bottom line is that we all want to return more than we have to put out.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be more effective and efficient in whatever you do.

After all, who willingly wants to waste their time, take longer than needed, or spend more money than necessary?

Absolutely no one. It's safe to say that 100% of the population would never consciously choose to do any of the above.

Yet how is it that most of us end up overwhelmed, frustrated or broke? What happened?

Were we that off base and delusional that we missed all signs of disaster?

Have you ever heard the old saying "It was the straw that broke the camels back?"

Its an old adage symbolizing a story upon which a camels back gets broken, seemingly all because of a single piece of straw.

Of course, we know it was the accumulation of straw over time that created those dire circumstances.

The same thing happens to us when we pile too many projects on the plate, the system is bound to breakdown.

Our when we take on projects, relationships, goals and jobs that are meaningless.

A part of the problem is that we say 'yes' to way too many things that we could be politely saying 'no thanks' too.

It doesn't help when we fail to see the pattern behind the mistakes that we repeatedly make.

If you are continually failing at something and not feeling motivated to move forward this is a sign to check your commitment.

Perhaps you are no longer interested in investing your time and energy into this, only you can tell. Be honest with yourself.

Every goal to be better, to reach higher, to obtain a new income level will require a new level of you.

You decide what experiences and memories you will fuse into the you that exists right this moment, and which aspects of your life to leave behind.

There is not enough time in our lifetime to spend it doing things that act in direct detriment to the loved ones in our lives.

Therefore it is a good practice to put only the things we truly value and the things we are really passionate about 'on our plate'.

Find areas where you feel over-stressed and discover roles where you are not 100% comfortable or committed.

Take time to record your roles and responsibilities every day. Be thorough and don't leave anything out.

Resolve to become more confident and committed to the roles you decide to keep.

Eliminate whatever roles that you can, and delegate whatever roles that you cannot eliminate.

Delegate and eliminate all the areas in your life that do not bring a good return on your capital, time or energy.

In a case where you have been attached to doing things a particular way for a long time, you may not be able to escape this separation pain free.

Unfortunately, sometimes when you finally decide to take your medicine you may have to amputate your foot in order to save your leg.

The best way to avoid a terrible situation like this is to ask yourself right now "What should I stop doing?" and then immediately begin to cut it out of your life.

Monday Motivating Mindset

THE HYPE

This weeks Motivating Mindset will make you look at yourself in a new light.


THE CHALLENGE

The Mindset challenge I am proposing this week is getting in the habit of asking yourself:

"What would the new me do?"


THE PROMISE

Ask yourself this question during every personal challenge this week and the promise is that you will laugh more, love yourself more and learn to relax more.


THE TIPS

If you are quitting a habit or building a new lifestyle ask yourself "What would the new me do?" in order to see yourself in a new light.

Seeing yourself in a new light is important, especially if you are interested in personal development and self-improvement because you are most likely self-critical.

This means that you are constantly critiquing your own actions, behaviours and results against a standard that you've set for yourself.
Whether you are conscious of it or not, you have a certain standard of performance that you measure yourself against in all areas of your life.

For example your relationships, health, finances and career are only some of the areas that you hold yourself accountable in an effort to improve yourself.

We try to improve our self because deep down we are all good people that just want to be loved, to love and to contribute to something better.

Yet for a however many possible reasons our lofty goal doesn't get realized and we somehow end up feeling scared, alone and afraid to live.

Somehow we are not able to find the self-discipline, the strategy for success or the willpower to stay the course.

But what exactly happens to our best intentions that have us ending up in self-sabotage?

What happens is we tend to think about all the mistakes, the failures the missed opportunities of our past, present and future.

We tend to think about things that don't empower us, and think about our self in ways that don't empower us.

Even in brand new situations we tend to associate our old negative sense of self.

For example someone might not think they are good at talking to people, based on years of their old negative sense of self reminding them of all their failures.

No matter how many new people this person meets they essentially pre-determine their future by imagining a negative outcome.

Even in a situation where the feedback was positive this person would tend to dis-associate any feedback that doesn't resonate with this negative self-vision.

This likely applies to many situations in your life, and if this is you, today's question will help you build a new database of positive experiences.

All you have to do is look for the good in everyone and in every situation and you will attract more of that to you.
For every situation you're in this week (including those that are frustrating or seem completely negative!) write down what is good about that situation.

When you do this notice how it immediately changes your perspective and opens up your mind to new possibilities.

Today is a new day, and instead of allowing yourself to think negatively think about your higher self, your ideal self.

Once you have a picture of the ideal person you want to be then ask yourself "What would the new me do?"
If you are quitting smoking, be present with the craving to smoke and ask yourself, with this craving... "what would the new me do?" and then make a decision from the person who has X amount of days smoke-free.

You are powerful and you can change any habit you want to, instantly if you have a strong enough desire.

It is in the moment and from each moment-to-moment that our destinies are shaped by our choices.
Whenever you encounter a situation that you are emotional about or find yourself reacting to, try and think about your ideal vision of yourself.

Picture you in all your future glory and greatness and from that state ask yourself "What would this new me do?"


THE SECRET

Can you picture yourself in the future, one month from now, one year from now, five years from now?

How about when you are picturing yourself in the past, yesterday, last year, when you were young?

Are you able to appreciate and accept all of your memories?

Are you passionately creating new and exciting memories?

When you picture your past or future self are you receiving attention, affection and adoration?

Or do you tend to criticize yourself, beat yourself up, or think that you should have done something different, if only...

Regardless of whether it is your past you are thinking about or your future you must learn to think about it positively.

The best question to get yourself in this new mindset is: "What would the new me do?" and then think from that state.

One of your greatest challenges in life is to be able to uncover the wisdom in every situation and apply the new found lesson to help you grow.

Where we go in the mind we follow in the body and where we cannot go in the mind we rarely go in reality.

For example, if you cannot picture yourself in a relationship with a certain person you probably wouldn't be in one with them right?

Yet on the opposite spectrum of visualization you got dressed this morning didn't you?

Well chances are you pictured the outfit you are wearing at least once before physically dressing yourself in it.

The visualization of your future self in a positive light is critical and important.

When we picture a happy, joyful and playful future we put ourselves in a positive state.

Then, by virtue of The Law of Attraction, we attract the same situations as we were visualizing our future.

Remember you are a masterpiece in the making and your future is constantly unfolding something new... if you only allow it!

Apply these ideas immediately to your thought process this week and instantly watch your new found future unfold!

Do you drink to enjoy yourself?

I had a talk with a coaching candidate who was looking to understand why they felt the need to drink socially but not regularly, unless of course they were out in social frequently.

At that moment I was cautious with my answer, I mean if we fully knew the underlying cause about any addiction it would likely cease to be addictive by definition right?

Regardless, the first thought that came to mind is that drugs and alcohol are a perceived enhancement for a deficit inside ourselves that we both consciously and subconsciously are experiencing in a situation.

Please allow me to explain. My belief comes from the observation and personal experience of drinking to break free from the "normal" or habitual way of being. The way we behave repeatedly become what is referred to as our conditioning. Whatever you want to call it, we often seek drugs and alcohol as the medium that brings out an altered and ultimately more desired state.

The hidden problem with this strategy is that the demonstrated solution (drinking or drugs) is just an illusion. The illusion is that you, or anyone else for that matter, requires something external to complete us or augment our experience. When it comes to drinking, the false belief is that we require alcohol to loosen us up, allow us to have fun, and make the experience much more enjoyable.

The downside of these fantasies is that for a small time we actually may see results, that is, we actually might think we are more socially functional by having the drink. Often, if only for a short time we are right, and the enhancement gets us through the stress or awkwardness of the situation.

Humans see things when they believe it, hence the phrase "I'll believe it when I see it" or "Seeing is believing". This becomes a problematic factor of human nature because now we "see" our actions (drinking) produce result and then we start to "believe" it is the answer. This only ensures that it will become that much more difficult to stop the no longer desired behaviour.

In our drinking example in order to get past the next social situation that they feel inadequate, you either use the alcohol as the crutch again or you will need to either come up with a brand new plan. The brand new plan is a feasible option only if given enough time and resources to commit to action, if either are missing then the effort is futile and you are highly likely to choose the path of least resistance which is the way you did it last.

So how do you combat this downward spiral of illusion? You must become conscious of the "positive intent" behind your actions. Every action we do is motivated by either a conscious or subconscious desire. When we detach ourselves from judgement about our actions, we make room to become aware of the positive intent behind our behaviour. Only when we have become clear about what this is can we empower change.

In our example of drinking the positive intent could have been "feeling confident and able to speak in public". With that desire identified the person could finally begin to seek alternative solutions to bringing them that feeling. For example they could join Toastmasters or a local speaking club, or join a networking group to expose themselves to others in a different setting.

There are many ways to beat your behaviour and with the right support you can do it! How are you currently identifying and empowering your desired change in your behaviour now? I'm definitely curious, drop me a line and let me know what works for you or if I can help.

Here to serve and humbled by your greatness!

Quit Quitting Until You're Ready To Quit

See more progress on: Quit Smoking

The date: June 15, 1999
The hope: Quit Smoking
The tool: Scratching My Record

It was June 4th 1999 and rumors of Y2k were putting most people in a panic mode. At the time, my girlfriend was working out of the province and I took a month leave of absence from my work to join her.

The day before I boarded the plane my mother suggested that I try a stop smoking cessation product and try to quit smoking cigarettes while I was away. Without thinking about all the implications, the apparent hassle it might be to give up this habit, or even considering why she was offering me this information I went to the Doctor’s and got my prescription.

At this time I had been a smoker for over 9 years and hadn’t planned to quit smoking anytime soon. I tried quitting once in high school for a week or two but after almost ruining all my friendships due to a case of the crankiness I soon realized that quitting before I was ready was futile. But I did know that “one-day” would come that I would quit, so I continued to enjoy my addiction until then.

Well needless to say the trip was a success in that I quit smoking on June 15th, and surprisingly lost the seemingly constant urge to smoke. What helped me along the process was in retrospect the following 3 reasons:

1. I always knew deep inside that one day I would quit. Henry Ford put this best when he said “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

2. I tricked my mind into getting help by not thinking about the future when I went to the doctor to get the prescription. As long as I didn’t tell my mind what I was doing, it wouldn’t have the opportunity to give me all the reasons why I shouldn’t.

3. I changed my environment or settings. Being around friends and family that smoked didn’t contribute to the willpower that would allow me to quit. So not being around them for the month allowed me the time to instill a newly desired and healthy habit.

People always state how quitting smoking is hard but I find this information to be delusional to the fact.

Quitting smoking is a ONE-STEP process.

1. Stop doing it. That’s it and that’s all. Easy, you don’t have to do anything else because you’re already not doing it.

BUT

To continue smoking one has to:

1. Find the money they could be spending on other things they want.
2. Go to the store and purchase the cigarettes. Perhaps get ID’d from the clerk.
3. Buy, borrow, or carry around a lighter to light the cigarette.
4. Find a smoking area (in a land of increasing non-smoking areas) to smoke in.
5. Smoke it without trying to get it in your eyes.
6. Smoke it without trying to get the smell on your clothes.
7. Smoke it without trying to get the smell in your hair.
8. Smoke it without trying to get the nicotine smell on your fingers.
9. Find an ashtray to butt out the cigarette when finished.
10. Find some perfume or cologne to combat the “smokers” breath.
11. Find some toothpaste to brush your teeth and combat the “smokers” breath.
12. Find some mouth wash to rinse your mouth and combat the “smokers” breath.
13. Find some hand wash to keep your fingers from turning yellow.
14. Worry about what others think about you.
15. Worry about the time it takes you away of your everyday activities to smoke.
16. Beat yourself up about the unhealthy habit you are giving into.
17. Listen to friends, family, and loved ones tell you how much you should quit.
18. Obsess over when you’ll smoke next, making sure all the above conditions are favorable.

You can start by adding up these differences in your own words and use your own examples.

This will give power to the truth and take away power from the false beliefs the mind has erected to keep you in your comfort zone.

Believe that you will quit smoking soon and appreciate that you won’t do it one single minute before your ready.

I believe in you and if there is a way that I can support you please drop me a line.

Forward Towards Success